Friday, October 1, 2010

Introduction

        Shaving. Most of us hate it. It's expensive. It's time consuming. It makes our skin burn and hurt. Most of us who work in an environment where it's required dread it.
        You've come to the right place. Times are changing. You don't need to drop $18.99 on a pack of cartridges at the local drug store anymore. You don't need to have that feeling of burn all about your face anymore. Most importantly, if your skin isn't that clear and you follow the advice on this page, that'll be a thing of the past.
         Let me explain a few things here. Dragging three, four, or five blades of cheap steal produced in a Orient country accross your face is going to have a few results. First, you're going to remove any hair. Second, you're going to irritate your skin. Third, you're probably going to strip so much, when the hair does grow back its going to become ingrown and digusting.
         That six dollar a can shaving cream isn't going to help much here either. I'm not a big fan of covering my face in all sorts of crazy chemicals.
          I had clear skin growing up.  When I started shaving, my face started breaking out in all sorts of red bumps that resembed acne.  I thought it was acne, and so did the dermatologist. Expensive cleansers, medications, face scrubs, and masks- you name it, I tried it. I even went as far to call up a major razor manufacture and explained the situation. They said it was due to me over using razors and I should start each week with a fresh blade.
          So there I was. Expensive razors, expensive face cleansers. It became a part of my life. My skin wasn't getting clearer. I was told it was just something I'd have to live with.
           Fast forward about five years. I was in a small town in West Virginia. Picture the backwoods barber shop with the old guy thats like 90 years old. Old people have a ton of knowledge and I asked him after getting my hair cut for some miracle soap to clean my blemished skin. He gave me the best advice. Better than any dermatologist or family doctor I'd seen in the past few years for my skin. "Throw out those shit razors all you young guys are using get yourself a safety."
             What the hell was this old man talking about? He explained a few things and it started making sense. Those expensive cartridge razors I had been using were causing this fucked up skin!
1. It's simply NOT natural to be dragging four or five blades accross your skin.
2. They become dull basically after the first shave regardless if you can feel it.
3. The kicker. Those things are filthy! No matter how much you rinse those son of a bitches, there is all sorts of grime and bacteria between those blades. So not only are you shaving with a filthy razor, your "injecting" bacteria into your skin when you slice off the first few layers.
              Lets get to the point. I threw out those shit razors and got myself a decent safety razor and some nice blades. My skin is as clear as it was when I was eleven years old and I spend 1/10th of what I did on razors.

      Let me illustrate a few things here. Check out the diagram below. Figure 1.0 is an illustration of your skin. It's not too scientific. I don't have the layers or anything labeled. Basically, it's your hair follicle and the skin. It's happy. The hair is growing and theres no irritation. Here comes a job interview and we want to look spiffy! Fige. 2.0 is a zoomed in version. Heres where the trouble comes! Fige 3.0 you just shaved! Looking good! Feel that irritation? You just shaved off more than you bargained for! Lets put some aftershave on, that'll help. BURN.
What's happening? You shaved and caused a load of microabrasions on your skin. Sure it looks great now, but wait a few days and you'll be looking like a 16 year old highschool kid covered in what appear as zits!
G! I wonder whats going to happen now! Well, in about a day that microcut is going to be healed up with a nice bump over top of it. If you're lucky, you're not going to get a minor infection and it'll be gone in about a week. Though, considering you just made a few hundred of these incisions accross your entire face, by the odds of probability one will. It's going to be a shaving bump and is going to look awesome. It's going to spew puss and look like total shit.

Walk into any room where there is a gathering of men. Most of them are going to have some scruff because this is all they know about shaving. It fucking sucks!
Lets get down to learning. Enough bullshittin'
SOAP/CREAM
Shaving soap or shaving cream. This shit will knock your socks off. Squeeze, literally, about five months of shaving outta this bad boy. This is the foundation to a great shave and is worth the eight bucks.
BRUSH
Gotta whip that cream into a smooth lather. There aint no better thing than a true boar bristle brush. You can find them cheap. 25 dollars and up. They do sell synthetic ones for like 7 bucks too.

                                                             RAZOR
The last razor you'll ever buy. This baby will be your new best friend. They range in price from 15 dollars and up. I picked up this one for $20.

                                                          BOWL
Gotta mix that soap up in something don't you? Cheap asses use their hands, I just stole this bitch outta the kitchen.
BLADES

These are the engines of your razor. These blades are top of the line in sharpness. They put a whole new meaning to the word razor sharp. I was told they are the sharpest in the world. I didn't believe it till I got em. At about 7 dollars for a 10 pack they are cheap. I squeeze about 15 or 20 shaves outta each blade. Considering  I don't have to shave everyday when I use it, each blade runs me about 5 weeks. FIVE WEEKS



What next?
How to prep for the shave?
How to shave?
How to post shave?
What next?

10 comments:

  1. You've gotten more followers since the last time I visited!

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  2. Such a shame places of work require people to shave. Beards are sexy as hell.

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  3. Great post!

    looking forward to reading the next one

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  4. wow...this is awesome.
    being a teen i despise shaving and avoid shaving as much as possible... this is definitely going on my to do list.

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  5. Also hate shaving, but I have to for work.

    Will try this next time, fo'realz.

    ReplyDelete